Happen Ending -- Epik High

he pulls on my hair
its entire length
spiraling down
each strand filled with a heaviness
I hate it
"why haven't you cut it yet then?"
because I'm still holding on
to his fingers

On the ones I've hurt

I

The wrenching swing of her song
her song
again.
Flings her voice into air
offering up to silhouettes
Full range of sound speaking fire
shadow speaking sound conscious of its reflection
Her I she is but me and I her
I sway with this warmth that
lingers
so leisurely on skin
that spills of an emptiness
that knocks on the back of my head
In its opening
I remember of a music I've
never heard before

II

Wide eyed
wilt into the weak wind
they hang desperately
folding into edges on the horizon of my gaze
If the mirror keeps staring
will they know the future I walk to
like a sleepwalker damned to that old dream
that old music
Paper begins to speak
(that's how we lose ourselves)
whispering so faintly like
rabid figures washed into illusions
If I look long enough catch a glimpse
of a face emerging dissolving behind each rising tide
pitiful pitiful
I will gouge your eyes out

III

Crawl in my skin fear
circles above to shudder
me in its shadow silently dragging
the heart that moans and shrieks in tears
Drown its own blood and
I swear it wasn't me it wasn't me it was me
Please
I know
I don't deserve this poem
that reaches with ghost hands to lift your limp body
snap my neck
no,
there is a shape music cannot fill
there is an emptiness that carves and carves and carves
till I cease

till I cease

"Yesterday is only today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream."

what time is it

will you

wait

what

is it

are you

yea I have to

leave

wait

let’s

get

carried away

you’re all my

nights

no sleep no rest

I just wanna say

and I think I might

little things

little things

like you

we should get

will you

married

coffee

you will

I will

I do

"I'll pay you in dollars"

and without realizing it
with each song you gave me
you took a piece of my heart
with you

"Through form, emerges meaning"

and as I build up
this poem
my words break down

"My name, my pronoun -- a grey void" -- Pizarnik

It's weird how we were
and now aren't.
It's weird how we could have been
but in the end didn't.
I find myself lost in these weird transitions,
in translation
Just lost,
a bit,
in abbreviation.

"From 8 until late, I think about you. You're all my nights I don't know what to do" -- Drake

from us
and back
to me and you

"Stop making a big deal out of the little things, let's get carried away" -- Beyonce

and in the dead of the night
you make me feel electrified
alive

"You're just a hideaway, you're just a feeling. You let my heart escape beyond the meaning" -- Hideaway

breaths caught in air
tumbling between
parallel lines
that strain to face each other

untouchable space where
ocean and sky touch
sliding into descending progressions
of crumbling notes

we melt off
the script into
ripples filling outwards
outwards

till they reach
till they can taste
only air in the horizon
evaporating

like a rip
in fate's flowing robes
a skip
in time's running show

round around repeats
in grooves flowing out
of revolving records
we find

ourselves in the fiction between
almost and
perhaps

what friction
sparks a fire
a silence

"But you're just a chance I take to keep on dreaming. You're just another day that keeps me breathing" -- Kieza

With each memory I taste
breathing comes easier
and the air comes fresher
cooling down
this oxygen
permeating in me
filling my soul up
and deflating my heart
down

"Lost some years I used to know I know my fate like bullets in a shot gun" -- Vic Mensa

and when I descend to sleep
I wonder if it was all a dream

and when I rise to wake
I wonder if it was all a lie

and I realize now when you jump
the world waits for nobody

and I realize now it was words
I starved for all this time