"Once you do something, you never forget. Even if you can't remember."- Zeniba from Spirited Away

spirited away. if only i could be spirited away. but only during a breath of time while the leaf is in the air. for in the end gravity will bring me down to earth where nothing has changed since.

"i'll just let music be my temporary drug. knock me out so i don't have to deal with it all. and they will call me a coward. "

How odd this emptiness is.

When my stomach feels so full. 

When my eyes have so much to see.

A thousands of melodies to be listened.

So many people to meet,

places to visit,

things to do.

yet why do

i feel

so 

empty?

"I ... do not know if I'm the man you want, but would you be willing to hold my hand like this and never let go?"

If only I could paint with these words of mine
captivating pictures
full of life and color
that move the person
with unspeakable words
and inexpressible
emotions.

Lately I've been feeling helpless. When I see pictures I can see all the details and the beauty right before me. When I see movies, the entrancing music fills me up. But I struggle when I write. How is it that I can't capture any of these in my words? I wonder what to do...

"For a relationship to work both have to give everything and expect nothing." - David Shia

Treading on the asphalt road, I walk in silence.
This time there is no sky to look at, to dream about, to lift my spirits.
As I walk alone.
But that is the curse of the asphalt road.
So cold under my bare feet, the blackness of the road slowly suffocates me.
I can do nothing but keep walking
and wish to be saved.

But suddenly a hand grabs me from behind and turns me around.
A man cloaked in black. A top hat rests on his head.
Magician.
His warm hand touches my face and he lifts his hat so I can see his eyes.
A beautiful magician.
I take a breath as I stare at him in surprise.
And he asks
"Do you believe in magic?"

"The people are beautiful, it's society that's ugly"

It's been like this for a while. This feeling keeps burning at me. At the fingertips, the edges of my mind. Slowly it's taking over, gradually wrapping me in its flames.
But flames of what?

If only fire could dance in the wind. If only it could burn the chains off me so I could be whisked away by the wind and its voices. How odd, maybe I'm becoming more selfish. These flames are swallowing me up.  Eating my mind, only to get hungrier and hungrier.

These fingertips wanting to reach out.
This voice that wants to open to others.
The mind that wants to be loved and protected.
As a friend. As a family. As a person.

Is this burning desire. Greed?

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

In the end all things die, and all things are forgotten. It may take one day or a thousand years, but our names, deeds, and very existences will vanish unto dust in the end. From dust man came and to dust he returns.

But while man forgets, that which is beyond man remembers. One true legacy lies not in the annals of history but the formless memories of creation itself. While civilizations rise and fall with the wind, God will never forget.

-youtube user

link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcuPrbeb0p8&feature=BFa&list=SP6E64CE2CEB47FF2A&lf=list_related

"highfive yourself"- halls cough drop wrapper

music like waves.
if only i could be submerged in it.

if only
i could drown in it.

Midnight Kiss~

the song i hear only in my head
beats in tune with my racing heart.

waiting, it's all i can hear
the blurry lights all i can see.

but soon you arrive with your tie loose, hair in a mess
bending to rest your hands on your knees as you catch your breath.

as i turn around you look up at me and
smile.

ah
that crooked smile of yours
i can't help but love...

how long has it been? but the clock's been thrown out
the frozen moment stretches to infinity.

smiling back i run to you.

you pick me up
in a warm embrace

and


*                   *                     *                    *

inspired by the first minute of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88Fvc4fhAoM&feature=g-all-lik&context=G2e28548FAAAAAHgACAA

"What's gone is forever lost, all we can do is live."

Time is perfect. This cruel creature that only smiles at us from above. From around. From underneath. It reminds me of the everlasting waves of the ocean and how it's enslaved by the moon. For we are the ocean and Time is our master. Such a beautiful face but with such cruel eyes. I'm scared to look at those eyes. In fear that in fact they are hollow, they are empty. And that there really was no meaning in all of this.

"I SHALL NOW WRITE ABOUT MY DREAMS AND PERSPIRATIONS." -dan

I jerked awake panting. Sweat drenched my hair and stuck to the back of my neck. There was nothing around me except the familiar ivory light of the moon filtering through my uncovered window. Calming myself down, I let my eyes get accustomed to the darkness of my room. Instead they saw colors dancing in streams, twirling, twisting, shaping themselves into pictures and scenes in front of me. They moved almost in slow motion as if they were underwater, floating. As if they were casting a spell. Like ink in water, but instead in air. My breathing slowed down and I relaxed. Sinking back into the comforts of my bed, for a moment, I dreamt of the life I could never have.