I heard your dreams came true.
I heard that you're happy now.
Without me, but smiling.
Of course leading to the expected confusion of my heart. Whether to pity myself or be happy for you.
But I can only remember your radiant self in the blurry mirage ahead. And still I try. I look forward. I keep going.
I wish you'd hate me.
I wish you'd give me scorn.
I wish you'd glare at me.
Something.
Anything.
But you see through me.
Past me.
Cause I'm not there in your world.
I really am.
Nothing.
nothing..
nothing
to you.
This haziness. Of my mind. Inside it.
I scream that silent scream. The one no one ever hears. I cry those silent tears. The ones no one ever sees. And I try to desperately grab for you. Your feet. Your shoes. The threads that hang off the edge of your tattered jeans. I'm at my feet.
The ground.
Groveling.
Twisting in agony.
On the floor.
Reaching for you.
Will you save me? Will you know me? Will you
finally see me?
The one no one knows about.
But I'm really not there in your world.
So you smile.
At me.
But as I stare back.
I know.
It's not at me.
Cause I'm not there in your world.
