I find this on the bathroom door in my cabin
"The glass is neither half empty nor half full, it is just twice as large as it's supposed to be"
"Smile it makes people wonder what you're thinking of"
"I live in my own little world, but it's okay they know me here"
"Isn't it amazing how quickly the mood can change with a broken condom?"
"Don't drink and park: accidents cause people"
"Find a penny, pick it up, and all day you'll have a penny"
"The closest I've come to a 4.0 is my blood alcohol level"
"...and last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I though to myself 'where's the ceiling?''
"To steal ideas from one person is called plagiarism. To steal ideas from many people is called research"
"Don't judge a book by its movie"
"Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else"
"Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol"
"Eat healthy, exercise regularly, die anyways"
"Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do"
"Light travels faster than sound that's why some people look bright until you hear them speak"
"Why do you always find what you're looking for where you look last? Because after you find it you stop looking"
"Words in parentheses can (not) be ignored"
"Join the army, meet interesting people, then kill them"
"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have more of them live longer"
"If I try to fail and I do, does that mean I've succeeded?"
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
"No matter where you go in life, you are always where you are"
"I doubt therefore I might be"
"A conclusion is simply the place where you get tired of thinking"
"A day without sunshine is like...night"
"It's better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove any doubt"
"Friends are people who know the music of your heart and sing it for you when you forget the tune of your own song"
"When you're surrounded by idiots, just remember, murder is illegal and sarcasm is way more satisfying"
