"All good things must come to an end"

Ah, what to say. what to say...         what to..                            say.
The heart feels prickled at that moment.
In that sudden realization.

How is it that moments ago, you were here in my arms. The last warm yet desperate embrace.
And now, I can still feel your hands in mine.
Just almost. I can.
Smell the soft scent of you.
Shiver slightly at the touch of your hair on my cheek as you lean your head on my shoulder.
Remember faintly your heat in the cold rain.
That smile
Your laugh
Our house.

Men aren't supposed to cry. I'm not supposed to cry. I shouldn't           cry.
But sometimes the emptiness is too much.
As if a black wave crashes over me, but silently. Stealthily, so I won't know till it's too late.
But by then, you'll probably be gone.

I said to you that we'd meet each other again, so this last meeting of ours must be a happy one. I wanted us to remember our smiles. So thank you. For the months of our happiness. And I will always pray for more happiness for you.

I wonder, if we can still be together in our thoughts. If you think of me, and I think of you, will it not count as such?

Human emotion. So beautiful and entrancing, I can't help but be swallowed up in it. Yet, at the end there are only tears I wish were gone.

"The past is a good place to visit but certainly not a good place to stay"

It's been a long time since I felt that same regret. That same shame of being myself. I know I shouldn't, but I forced myself to look back. To see if I really had moved on, but of course I still have not. Maybe I never will. I'll just keep going round in pathetic circles. Never moving forward. I broke down thinking of you. I'm sure you're miles ahead of me; you were always so headstrong. Ah if only I could apologize again. Will you still look at me with those cold eyes?


"We can forget the words of our enemies, but we will never forget the silence of our friends", but what stings more is if you don't even know if that person is your friend anymore....

"You're still beautiful to me"- Epik High

While I sit with sadness seeing as I am
unable to see you even though
I think of you,
the sun sets and the wind awakens, and
only the scarlet petals are what I see.
-Bride of the Water God


I happened to glance at the two while they just looked at each other from a little distance. But the one second, turned into a much longer second...and I just watched their intense gaze. Was it hate? Or was it love? I couldn't tell, but I felt almost lonely because I had no other person.

"a world of dreams floats past you on a cloud you cannot touch "

"Nostalgia - it's delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek, "nostalgia" literally means "the pain from an old wound." It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship, it's a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards... it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It's not called the wheel, it's called the carousel. It let's us travel the way a child travels - around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know we are loved. "- Mad Men

Pain from an old wound. Happy but sad. It's always just that. That feeling. That internal gasp. And each day we live, we pile the memories up high, to only look at them again on a different day. "Only to look, never to touch" And this insanity will never stop. Until the day we die.
When we die...

"I tell you not to be distracted by thoughts of me yet here I am…distracted by thoughts of you" -Conway

"chat:  do you like anyone?
nono
like
like like
not like" - Jonathan

Sunlight showered down like glitter and basked us in a wonderful warmth. Comfortable and relaxed, we let our smiles play out in the field while we sat on the grass and counted clouds. They floated carelessly across the light, blue dome and refreshed our souls as we watched them ever so slightly respond to the wind's whispers. And even then, my heart would flutter while you were close. This simple bliss. Time had fallen asleep that day.

I followed the footprints that you left trailing behind you. And periodically the waves would reach us and tickle our feet. Nothing between us and the sky, I looked in awe how the sun had set his home on fire. My blood pulsed through me as I ran into the ocean, and you suddenly picked me up from behind and swung me around. Screams of delight. We yelled our wishes across the ocean hoping the water god would hear them on his throne on the horizon. Our laughter echoed, resonating off the cliff's walls and lonely railroad tracks behind us. This breathless emotion. Where was Time to watch us?

You held my hand as we walked along in the dark. The ivory moon cast her soft light and helped us on our way back. We observed the stars shining vividly and the colored mesh above us melting magnificent, bold colors into one another . We could see the Milky Way. Maybe today was the day when the two lovers in the sky could cross the Silvery River of Heaven and meet each other at last: a happy thought from a sad story of fate. A blanket of gentle heat enveloped us, but I felt more keenly your warmth burn the senses on my skin. This glowing feeling in my heart, how was I going to contain it?

The rain poured down on us. Arizona rain. Sitting on the stairs of the playground, we watched the storm clouds flash with lightning and heard them boom across the sky. The music from the water calmed me down while you held me close hugging my waist. So close... And then you stole me away. In between slow, sweet kisses, my breath ran away from me.  My fingers traced the gaps between yours, but you soon completed them with mine. And there we quietly hid from the world under one umbrella. Ah this beautiful rapture. I became scared that Time would take you away.

But until then. Each day. I ask. That you be with me.

"I remember back when I used to have a Motorola phone my friend sent me this really funny text and I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur."

"There's no colour
called love in this world;
yet how completely
my heart
is dyed with it."
~Lady Izumi

Colors melt in the air
diffusing into a cloud
of ribbons and wisps
As if in water.

Like secrets softly being murmured
or memories fading away
slowly they float, suspended,
while air gently pulls them along
But they too will disappear.