"Running sky, crashing sunset, those beautiful days that will never come back" -- Nell

goodbye
goodbye
this love I shall put to sleep

"You cannot buy the revolution. You cannot make the revolution. You can only be the revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere" -- Ursula K. Le Guin

red lights slap the transparent walls
that separate or combine
me?
chairs sprawl out in neat lines in the corner of my eye
empty

like these machined white skirts that
bounce and glow across the street hanging
seductively to beckon men in to drink
while the people shuffle along the dimming streets
mute

red lights swim past like conversations I had with my future
yesterday in rivers that wind from the city and back
coursing energy and disease that pummel the mind
splintering each thought with a flimsy flicker of light
shudder

off switch on
they buzz of incoherency and rabid mumblings
driven all to madness and blackness
rioting on streets bleeding on paper to
ignite

though I am but a fish on a pedestal to be sliced
under soft orange flux
peeling off in layers
in this reality that pages out in front of me flowering
terribly

diffusing till thin and nonexistent
and I am labeled crazy to have even spoken
of such things
of such things

Aquilo

Paging through silence the edges melt

deconstruct

bursting into flames till they crackle and crumble

into existence once more

sliding into wintering alarms that sound between

skyscraper towers

and I turn

flipping flipping flipping

through the winding streets to find words in the wind

aquí

aquí

estoy aquí

I speak to air

but you are nowhere to be found

"This too shall pass"

and each night
I get drunk off
thoughts of you

"Más que aire más que agua más que labios ligera, ligera tu cuerpo es la huella de tu cuerpo" -- Octavio Paz

Light laps at my feet,
Shadow lines.
Retrace my steps and
I shall sleep

An eternity back.
Looming cities hanging
Lost lights like
Lanterns floating with no line,

No way home
Only hands now on
Windows.
Sleepless eyes peering out,

Only handprints now on
Mist glass
Perspiring ghosts gone
That refuse to dream

Though I try and eyes flutter
Breathing barely alive.
The sunsets you loved
Sink behind notes

And I smile as much to wipe
My tears. Fall like shattered
Sounds,
Chase melodies around me

If I lived again.
But of course above the waves
It seems your voice
I hear instead.

On and on

revolution
is an arrow of change
and a circle that takes you back,
a

"Or your liquors deep to me, in this glass capsule, Dulling andstilling. But colourless. Colourless." -- Sylvia Plath

Apart, apart

We are apart

Though I used to be 

A part of you 

"Baby are we there yet" -- Dumbfounded

From the way the light held
you could hear the
butterflies brushing
off from her
dead shoulder

“I am the river and you are its blue, burning current.” — Thomas Lux

From ghostly words
etched in the ancient book
rose a scent of smoke
nostalgic
for a memory
it could not remember

"Is that what we want? Is everything shot? Is that what you asked for? Cause that's what we got" -- Julian Casablancas

In the sliver of space
Between the window silt
The eye of the half moon
Bulges and blinks
Staring curiously into mine

Blue moon clouds
Flower and flicker in front
Till she retreats, black and sullen,
Till she disappears and
Sleeps forevermore

But shivers prickle as fear
Climbs up my spine
Wary of her eye that may be
Sprouting on my back in my mirror
Bulging

"Help me I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes" --Sia

How keenly 

the bite of the cold 

mirrors 

the bite of your silence

“I felt dull and flat and full of shattered visions” — Sylvia Plath

Only once you've stood up,

do you realize how numb 

your legs have become

Only once you've moved on,

do you realize how much 

you still love him. 

"Goodbye, Goodbye. The key to my heart is in the walls."

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of death
Now at the hour of death
Now at the hour of my death

"When I see you again I'll know not to expect. Stay one step away, we will have to wait" -- The XX, Sunset

There is a point when everything becomes numb
and you start to wonder if stabbing yourself with pins
will coax you to feel again

"Yona Lights" -- Marco Beltrami, Snow Piercer

Alive and soft the ocean breathes ashore;

Hear it whispering secrets of the sea.

I sit and sail these paper planes over

To converse with the sea, words so carefree.

How joyous thy waters leap, thy freedom

I cannot help but want to steal and shut.

Perhaps Time will favor, grant us wisdom

Of life, and protect this precious gift; but

Alas, lock’d within the tempting waves hide

The chains of Time as strings the moon doth hold.

Master the waves how cruelly they break tide,

As if to ground them, Time forces to mold.

Hark, them demons my soul they try to keep.
To crush my freedom, my life, my heart doth weep.

"What I mean is, on some nights I miss you so much that I never want to see you again” — Ali Shapiro

Devour words
blind the eyes
I keep finding myself shooting up
cocktailed stories to stuff
this empty hole
in me
Fiction
is always saddest

"It felt like you really knew me. Now it feels like you see through me" — The XX

There's a silver shimmer
between us
rippling in air
this pregnant silence, dripping into pools that drown us—
the only noise to be heard

Like lights playing with
the shadows on the windows
Like memories that surge and dissolve
crumbling so capriciously through time

Your smile fades in and out
an ebb and flow behind this veil
surfacing, reverberating between
two hemispheres
two souls

The sun's set in your eyes
And you don't see me
across the horizon anymore

"Separate or combine, I ask you one last time. Did I hold you too tight? Did I not let enough light in?" -- The XX, Chained

you are the ink that dribbles into my mind
flowing out my fingertips

into the words I write

the soft echo that deafens the chaotic thoughts 

that cloud the mountains 

of the heart at night

your words
your kisses
your eyes
terrify and soothe me

but for today be my muse, my poet
and I will be forever yours, 

your poetry

"Even when he smiles, in my eyes, you, you’re smiling. Even when I hold hands with him my hands feel your hands, only yours" — Younha

The night is too hot to sleep in and I stay awake staring at the light leaking in through my paper thin curtains. But no, this time it's not my thoughts pulsing painfully my conscious wake.
Hot, my heart spikes with each beat. Too loud, too heavy, your scent begins to overtake my body. Your gentle touch to the bare shoulder. The slow burn of desire to my slender neck. A kind kiss to the shy forehead.
Memories murmur murmur murmur
spiraling in my blood, rushing higher—my breath skips beats
your fingers imprint onto my back and your warmth into my heart

Perhaps love is too a muscle memory that the body remembers
Too keen, too sharp, they cut all too deeply till I bleed you, and only you

“Despair is the price one pays for self-awareness. Look deeply into life, and you’ll always find despair.” — Irvin D. Yalom

The mountains fade in blue layers melting into the pale sky behind them

White tails trail breaking into fragments of angel wings slowly torn by wind
So far and cold

I stare longer and longing into the distance;

And I realize that is my future 

“It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been ifit had never shone.” — John Steinbeck

How is it that
the moment you left
the house exhaled
and the air hung emptier than ever

“The mind is beautiful because of the paradox. It uses itself to understand itself.” — Adam Elenbass

The sun streams down
gently descending onto soft swishing treetops
the light plays with shadows on the floor
the dew still wets the ground;
today's the day it rains yellow flower petals instead

“Your room is not your prison. You are.” — Sylvia Plath

Fear of inadequacy
Fear of untied ends and loose strings
Fear of opportunities that could have been
The could have been
The perhaps
The possibilities
That almost reality that you yourself shot down
That glimpse of fate
only to have it taken away

"Peacock Romantic" -- DJ Okawari

Purge yourself
Puke it up
Hurl the emotions out
Pluck them from your skin
Rip them from your heart
Scrub them from your lips
Set ablaze your soul
to burn
to destroy
What held you down
What held you apart
What held you together

"The walls, the walls are caving in"

these pages turn too fast 

and this story is ending all too soon

The End. 

"What does it mean to forgive?"

And as I climb this bridge to reach you
I realize
that the further you climb
the farther you fall

It's funny isn't it?
Shouldn't it have been obvious?

"I wonder where you've been, and do you think of me? Cause I'm not missing you at all. I'll be alright, I'll be okay. And it felt fine. You're away and I'm away" -- Kidnap Kid

Jazz beats diffuse through the room accompanying the soft twinkling of piano
the saxophone blaring through the fog that curtains the night outside
a voice soaring clear, dancing with the lights that cascade from the ceiling
The soul leaps with each note,
pulling these heartstrings of mine you play so well.

"Weep not for she is not dead, but sleepeth" -- Luke 8:52

Ink slowly pulled along paper,
unfurling black emotions bulleting through the tunnels of veins
bleeding red into her empty heart,
drawing white mountains and fiction stories that echo and sing through hidden trees when the wind blows and rustles their old leaves
Till one day,
someday,
they will melt away into nothingness with the rain that erases them
Ghosts rise from words once written
feelings once felt
long ago,
long ago

Dear,
do you still remember me?

"Al di lá del bene più prezioso, ci sei tu. Al di lá del sogno più ambizioso, ci sei tu" -- Al Di La, Emilio Pericoli

Above the dreams that rise up in spiraling clouds to the heavens,
Across the infinite oceans and sprawling mountains of this earth,
Though these hanging emotions scar the sleepy memories hidden within,
Beyond, beyond,
there is you
with the sun in your eyes gazing outwards to the world at your fingertips
And perhaps someday
I hope
I will
reach you there.

"He is the darkest star among a myriad of burntout wishes, but he is my star." — Noor Shirazie

Don't say goodbye to me
so I can hold on to this hope that someday
you'll come back with the tide

but it's a cold night while I wait
with only breaking waves to keep me company
wistful wishes wander lost under the echoes of the hazy sea

"Should I wait for you?"

but
you were
never mine
never mine
so I guess..

never mind.