"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." -G.K. Chesterton

An ancient Chinese proverb says "An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, despite the time, the place, and despite the circumstances. The thread can be tightened or tangled, but it will never be broken". 

Haha.

ahaha.

what day was it again?
The day when we
haha
I remember him. The days we spent. I remember us...us boys. How young were we? I forget. We must have been at least eighteen. haha. only...seventeen.

Let me have some of that will ya? Starving. Here, let me help you with the bandages. Get your rifle brother. They're coming guys. What do we do? Did the nurse leave with the other division? Come on cheer up, the reinforcements will be around soon.
haha
The feeling of impeding dread is dim to me now. The second platoon had only 15 men. Or were we more like boys?
I remember the little brother. being shot in the head.
The elder brother's screams.
The heat of the blood. Splatter. Bullets spluttered more and more blood out of his small body.

Grenades blew up. Did their heads blow off their bodies too? haha
I can still hear the blasts reverberating in my ears. my mind. my chaos.
my torture.

Dust and debris. Retreat!
They all toppled over. Where were the others?
I can still feel how my own blood pounded in my head as more soaked into my uniform.

Gun shots. Shouts. The flag, I saw it crash down.
One enemy man was tearing at a boy's innards.
Fire had trapped some in the building. Was it the machine gun's screams, or my friends'?

The feeling of desperate fear. The plunging feeling of the gut. As we saw them advance forwards. Their tanks and guns gleaming meanly in the sun. The heat was rising.

My friend smiled at me. A reassuring smile. What faith he had.
I saw him run across. Like a hero. Throwing grenades at tanks and then at last plunging himself into the biggest with his own two grenades. Self sacrifice. Self suicide.

Bodies piled up. To never be recognized. Others crushed under the advancement of tanks. Ah, the machine guns echo in my dreams. The reinforcements arrived. And I shot the last guy.

But the rest were all gone.
Was my family killed too? Maybe tortured. Experimented on. Like rats.

Alone.

haha.
i should just kil-

haha.

"My thoughts were so loud, i couldn't hear my mouth" - Andy Zhao

I'm surrounded by warm water. Swirling around me in a steady relaxing rhythm.

But alarmed, my heart begins to speed and I half whimper in the echoing dark. 

The lights dance from the bottom.

"Breathe my child," she says, "You are safe with me."

Climb higher to that impossible

The fantasy that you long so much for. 

But I wonder...what it's like to actually reach it.

What would the feeling be after struggling for an eternity against rapid waters that drag me down and down grappling the life out viciously? 

To be able to rise out and take the first breath of fresh air. Cool and cutting.

To be able to sigh with utter relief and relaxation after the despair, true bottomless and looming despair, ends.

To find the very thing that fills me up, not only my heart but the gaping hole in my mind as well.

What would the feeling be like when I finally reach the other side and feel my aching body finally slow down?
Relax.

Observe the shimmer of stars. 

Smile.

"Child. Why are you afraid?" she asks.
I whisper back but only the lights hear me.

Kiss the Rain :]

RainyMood.com: Rain makes everything better.

quite true. put some soft piano music in the background and close your eyes.

"I'll be down, You be my offbeat~" -clara c

Fog billows into the mainland ever so quietly during the small hours before dusk.
Creeping and crawling, it swallows the houses and trees, hazing the luminescence of the street lamps. The streets are deserted now. No movement, no sound.
flicker
is that your heart?

The daylight breaks the shrouded dark, but the gray low lying clouds still drift above the dewy grass almost as if whispering to Mother Earth from the Heavens.
The cool mist clings onto my skin as I slowly walk through the lazy fog.
And as the white world swirls around me, my small figure slowly fades away from sight.

"나 안아줘...제발"

those warm hugs that seem to last forever and make Time catch his breath.

the abandoned girl has yet to know that feeling. 

be enveloped in the security and comfort.

and sigh.

In the quiet, she muses. Ponderous thoughts weighing her down. 

She is alone.

Never wanting to break the glass wall..it seems too perfect.

no. she should not. 

she can only want.

and stay that way.

Alone.

"Life is good because there are things i can do and there are things i can't do" -Subaru

It's been a while since I've listened to the crashing waves. I have yet to walk alone on that beach at night as the moonlight glitters on the waves. Red tide, wouldn't that be pretty?
Ah, I find this world so unrelentingly cold. So unforgiving. And lonely.
I can long all I want for some love and comforting heat.
For trusting smiles and open arms.

But as of now, I can only stay pent up in a box and imagine the sounds of the ocean.
It seems I cannot and never will get used to reality's harsh demeanor.

The green light.
I will never reach.